Last Friday night around midnight I was sitting in my flat happily dreaming of India and H., thinking about when (if) we would ever be able to get together again, when I started getting SMSs. They seemed to arrive in pairs, at 10-minute intervals. After 6 or 8, I started looking for the block function on my cellphone & as I was programming, a last one came in asking if I was seeing anyone else. This So. Korean guy I'd been dating out of sheer boredom had taken to calling me at home after the last couple of dates; now it was apparent he was checking whether I'd been immediately somehow rushing into the arms of someone else. Where DO men get these ideas, and UGGGHHH, here we go again, with the possessive thoughts.
Later, before bed, I checked again. There was a screened message, only one, saying "I like you, I want you, I don't understand these feelings." Now, telling N. about it the other night, I realized that he has never touched me, not even casually, in passing. How does that work (any of you men out there want to enlighten me)? Am I to immediately text him back saying, come, now, right this minute, to ravish me? I don't have the slightest physical sense of him, which really speaks volumes to me.
I sent him a very nice Email the next day, saying that I really don't want to start anything serious since I'm moving away very soon (as is he, in fact), but kindly NOT saying that I simply don't feel the least bit of physical attraction to him. Yesterday I got a message complimenting my intellect but continuing, "Also you are an attractive woman overall although I do not find you as particularly sexually attractive (at least you are not a demi moore; well kind of a joke but sorry for my absolute honesty)."
Fucked up, I'd say, and (sigh) not in an interesting way. So I asked him if sex with someone who's unattractive is better than no sex at all. Womyn, is this the fundamental difference between women and men??? I do believe I've hit upon it at last. Couldn't stop myself from adding, also, that my 36C's are all natural.