Thursday, March 12, 2009

Mr. Berlin

Found on Craigslist (the bolding is mine). It is so perfect that, for once, I have absolutely nothing more to add.

the dilemma - 35 (Berlin)
Reply to:
Date: 2009-02-22, 8:57PM CET

oh well, i have absolutely no experience picking up girls for one night stands or affairs and normally i am not looking for it.
i tend to be unfriendly with people that i don't know so this makes things more complicated.
right now i feel that i should not and don't want to have a serious relationship until i sorted out some unhappiness within myself.
on the other hand i feel i am getting grumpier and grumpier every month that i am not sharing physical intimacy.
i am german 35, tall (1.90m), slim (75kg), smoke too much, drink too much, i guess i am intelligent, occasional misanthrope.
i can be funny but often i dont want to.
i like slim girls, 25-40, young at heart.

i am looking for somebody who feels to be in the same situation,
i will not pay, nor marry you, nor do anything else for except for meeting you, so don't bother me with any of these offers and don't even try.

i am not looking for porn style fucking nor exploring any kind of sexual weirdness, fetish, sm or whatever, just some slow and peaceful sex, respecting everything the other doesnt want.


ian in hamburg said...

How refreshingly honest, if not a bit too perfect English for a real German. Not one Germanism...

So did you answer it? :-)

Katchita said...

Ian, I'm thrilled that this struck a similar chord with one of my readers. Of course I didn't answer it: he says clearly that he's not interested in porn-style fucking! The thought did cross my mind, however, that it would be fun to send him a little message that he'd been selected for a special guest appearance on Sexless Berlin.

And surely "who feels to be in the same situation" fits the bill as a Germanism? Picture it -- two mean, angry Germans getting together to snarl at each other until they drink themselves into sufficient oblivion, overcome their mutual aversion and begin to paw at each other. This is a blog post I've been saving up -- it's a scenario that I'm observing all too frequently in Europe.

As for me, I prefer my men looking straight ahead and wide-eyed into the oncoming headlights...

Anonymous said...

Poor guy. Maybe on Hartz IV.

Serge said...

Schrecklich, indeed. Verwirrend schrecklich. Wahrscheinlich auch ein Germanismus.
Es ist irgendwie monströs. Was will dieser Mensch? Er hält sich für smart, zu Unrecht. Er ist nur verklemmt und sehr dumm. Das halte ich für einen Germanismus: Jüngere treten auf und reklamieren Smartheit. Wenn man das durchschaut und sich lustig macht, werden diese Leute aggressiv. Für mich war das immer der Beweis, dass Deutsche nicht nur im Proletariat, aber eben auch in den Mittelschichten faschistoid sind. Auf besondere Art. Sie tragen einen Panzer vor sich, mit dem sie nach oben sich durchbringen wollen. Es ist diese Haltung, das, was nicht in Ordnung ist, als zu achtende Besonderheit auszugeben. In Wirklichkeit ist es schon eine Drohung.

Ich verstehe Deinen Standpunkt jedoch auch nicht wirklich. Vielleicht willst Du ihn mir aufschlüsseln.
Ein Kommentar von Dir dazu hätte mir gefallen.

Katchita said...

Serge, er vermisst seine Deutsche Mutter, denke ich. Hmmm, muss ich meine Peitsche suchen? Wo könntet sie sein...?

And Anonymous, isn't anyone who's anyone (and GERMAN) in Berlin on Hartz IV?!? But yes, you are right, it would just be TOO MEAN for me to send him this blog link!

Rosa said...

Could it be possible to translate the German comment and its answer into English? Sorry but not everybody here speaks German!!!
One more thing, who knows if this slim misanthropic man is honest? Maybe he's only using an elaborated strategy to pick up some kind of women he likes most...

Katchita said...

Rosa, thanks for adding your international perspective!! I have written that I think this man must miss his German mother (see my Todo Sobre Meine Mutter post in mid-January), and I was wondering if I need to look around for my whip. I'm referencing a German saying about this: Zuckerbrot-und-Peitsche-Methode (literally, sweetmeat-and-whip approach; a bit like the carrot and the stick approach for Americans). Merkel's policies are sometimes described in this way, which brings me to Hartz IV, a stripped-down version of the previous German social security/unemployment system. It is virtually impossible to live on and everyone I know on it describes it as dispiriting. Finally, I'll see if Serge is willing to have a first crack at translating himself if I then polish it for him.

Serge said...

ok then, a translation of what I wrote nearly one week ago on this "Mr. Berlin" ans his announcement. Here as following:

"Terrible, indeed. Confusingly terrible. Probably also a Germanism. It is somewhat monstrous. What does this person want? He presents himself as smart. Wrongly.
He is only blocked and stupid. Regard that as a Germanism: The young "act as if" and claim smarts. If one sees through this and scoffs at it, they become aggressive. For me that was always the proof that Germans, not only in the proletariat but also in the middle class are pre-fascist.
In a special way. They wrap themselves in armor as they push their way up the ladder. What is obviously incorrect they pass off as peculiarity deserving of respect. In reality it is already a menace.

However, I don't really understand your point of view. Perhaps you'd like to summarize it for me. A comment from you would have pleased me."