Monday, August 17, 2009

Request for Proposals

This post is for those of you men from whom I haven´t managed to walk away completely and who, despite your extremely emotionally-unavailable selves, can´t help but be in contact with me, no matter how sporadically. It´s been two and a half years now that I´ve been on my own -- plenty long enough for this daddy´s girl to say, I proved I can make it alone. And more than enough to know that I don´t much care for solitude. So make me an offer -- virtually everything´s open for negotiation except what I need to do to maintain my residency here in Europe. I´m not looking for the love of my life -- the last time it came close to doing me in. I don´t want the world; I´ve had more than enough in the past, and it becomes harder and harder to bear each time the world falls apart. No more looking back and realizing another decade of my life is gone; I want a couple of years that are simple, peaceful, with enough drama to keep it interesting, but no more. I want the day-to-day, I want you tossing the salad as I bake the bread, I want to wipe your brow when you´re feverish and you to run down for Motrin when I can´t seem to make it off the couch. I want to hear about your day, to celebrate little triumphs together and soothe away each others' setbacks. I want someone by my side who's as out-of-place as I am in these ridiculously large brains of ours. I want to feel our way together, toward our own truths, because the rules have never been made for the likes of us. My mind´s made up: I won´t be alone another Christmas.

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