Thursday, January 19, 2012

Trivial Pursuit

A catchy headline yesterday informed me that a Glamour survey provides us with more "wisdom" in the Battle to Understand the Opposite Sex. Here are the two questions that most amused me.

Keep in mind that this is what we call close-ended questioning: the respondent can only choose from the options given. So for the first question, for example, this option was sadly missing: to go on national television to explain that men don't really mean to be pigs, it's just the testosterone. Joking aside, the fact that half the men have recognized the mystical importance of the feminine orgasm is, in my mind, a very good sign.

If you could borrow a woman's body for a day, you would most want to:
Play with your boobs all day long: 15%
Find out what a female orgasm feels like: 48%
Eat and drink for free at ladies' nights: 12%
Hang out in a women's bathroom and get every secret possible: 7%
Hang out in a women's locker room and just watch—duh!: 18%

The magazine also observed that "some things never change!" Despite ample evidence that tall men are the ones that get the girls, two-thirds of men would rather give it all away for a longer penis. Notably missing, as usual, is the issue of girth...

Which would you rather be: 5'2" tall with a seven-inch penis or 6'2" with a three-inch penis?
1995: 62% said 5'2" with a seven-inch penis.
2012: 67% said 5'2" with a seven-inch penis.

Never my go-to source for anything at all, women's magazines serve only as embarrassing evidence of how actively we trivialize ourselves. Sigh.

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