Sex Tip #8

Slow Poke, who's turned into my number one fan, is out there in cyberspace cracking the whip again, so let me just take the easy way out and slap up this post, which I found nearly finished in my drafts folder. It takes us back to one of my favorite topics: screening out the duds.

At a party this past New Year's, A., who'd recently rolled out a new on-line profile, was asking, "is it too much to ask that they be able to put a coherent sentence together?". I responded, "on the contrary, it's absolutely critical." Because a man who can't write at least competently is never going to have the brain power to keep sex interesting beyond the handful of times it takes for the novelty to wear off. And maybe some of you men have figured out that the converse is true, because, incredible as it may seem, some of you actually say you want to bag a thinking woman. This, then, is where on-line dating really lends itself to screening, because typically by the second or third Email, you'll know just about as much as you need to know about the brain-power involved.d

However, on occasion even Katchita, intrepid on-line maven that she is, meets men in "normal" contexts -- at gatherings of friends, film festivals, even the pool. In that case I generally prefer exchanging Email addresses instead of phone numbers, so as to get back to the cyberforum where I'm most comfortable going through the preliminaries. I then attempt to gently introduce the fact that I blog, and that my blog is not exactly the typical "look, Mom, here's what I've been doing on my European adventure". If leafing through Sexless Berlin doesn't send a man running in the opposite direction, then it's most likely his writing skills that will win him a chance at an in-person encounter.

Now, I've complained more than enough about pretty boys and the well-endowed (but still never miss a chance to link to the pertinent post here). Hopefully I've made it clear that a woman can only expect them to treat her right if they have a kink unusual enough that most of the feminine persuasion are disinclined to play along. Still, there are no guarantees, so let me introduce a further technique that serves me really quite well. And that is to make at least the first couple of meetings play sessions.

What do I mean by play sessions? I mean, if I could be so blunt, that I highly recommend avoiding what most of us understand by the F-word. The biggest mistake a woman can make on a trial run with the well-endowed is to allow him to go at her with his (ahem) battering ram. If that's the only trick in his repertoire, believe me, you might as well find out immediately, before you find yourself lying on your back stifling a yawn after a scant handful of encounters. I suggest a moratorium on penetration for at least the first couple of sessions. The other, shall we say, tools at his disposal, are more than enough, trust me, to judge both the man's inclination to please you, the level of sexual rapport between the two of you, and his inventiveness.

The less well-endowed and those who have occasional problems with, well, maintaining stiffness, are, in my opinion, not to be immediately discarded and this screening technique is designed to give them a chance. They will have learned compensatory techniques that can be very well appreciated by the experienced woman who likes her sex served up as a mixture of multiple different courses, like a fine meal. To all of my readers, male and female, I would say, think of it this way: the old in-and-out is best left as an occasional dessert.