Sunday, June 22, 2008

Perspective is Everything

My ex was in town (Madrid, that is), for a visit and I am very content to have spent a week hearing that I am still beautiful/desirable, great fun to travel with, and quite brave (a new addition which I very much appreciate). All in all it was a nice boost for my poor tattered ego.

And now, back to "normal" life for at least a few months, I find myself somehow dating an Egyptian, albeit who's lived in Europe over 10 years. One night I was running for the last metro train of the evening. I breathlessly shouted out to the first guy I passed, "Are we going to miss it?" He was that guy, and the train was still 12 minutes away, so of course I talked to him, and him being Egyptian, of course I talked about his country, then managed to launch into a political discussion, all of which he ate up. The weirdest part of it was that we live at the same metro stop, so we continued talking on the street for a quite some time, late into the night.

He calls me pretty and touches me gently, although that gentleness is just starting to take on a certain insistence, which will of course increase, as he is a man, after all. Everyone says, be careful, Katchita, including M. & J. who've spent years off and on living in Egypt. But somehow after turning 30, I lost the ability to do careful. Curiosity, more than anything, has ruled my life. And I've never been with a Muslim guy...

This guy's like my ex (although 6'5" wins by an inch) -- people stop him regularly in the street to ask for help, money, and even, the first time I met him, with all sorts of winks and nods, where to go for a good time around here. Irresistible to gay men, that's always something I've considered a very good sign. I had to comment on this, it's quite telling really, but people who are in extremis (excluding the gay guy, naturally) have unerring ways of picking out those who are kind.

There is however, a problem, the usual problem in my case, which is my mind... I simply cannot get over the thought that his 3 sisters are highly likely to have been subjected to FGM. How exactly does one broach that subject, I wonder? "Hmmm, I find you attractive and I'm curious what it would be like to be with you, but I can't stop thinking about your poor sisters and I really do have to warn you, all of my parts are intact."

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