Monday, April 20, 2009

Important New Flash for Men

OK, you men, I know that female behavior probably seems completely arbitrary to you, but it's really not that hard to figure out, with just a little thought. Has it really not occurred to you that roughly 15% of the time, a woman between the ages of, say, puberty and 50, is having her period and no woman chooses to initiate sexual relations under such conditions!?! I mean, what if you're one of those guys who's totally icked out by such things, which is a definite majority of you, in my experience? Why would we want that funny look (some of) you get on your faces to be our memory of The First Time? We can add to that another 25%, at least, for the times when a woman certainly never thought things would go quite as far as they have and, in all seriousness, 1) hasn't shaved in the various places she feels she should--first sexual encounter and all--and 2) has on old shapeless underwear that is not in the least sexy! Hey men, we women have been brainwashed (just as you have) into thinking these things are important and you really have to allow for them, unless you can convey to us with overpowering animalistic energy that you couldn't care less if we just spent the entire last year in the Amazonian jungle sans soap! So that means chances are high that you'll need at least a second, and probably a third, date. After all, no decent woman has sex before the third date, am I right? Just a simple tip, courtesy of Sexless Berlin.

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