Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Size Post, Part II: The Solution

Having made the great sacrifice of getting my butt down to Valencia on a nearly all-expenses-paid trip (thanks to a fortuitous sugar-daddy opportunity) to do Important Public Health Research, I went personally to meet the man who may be responsible for saving lives among the differently endowed in Spain. As far as I've been able to confirm, he's the only supplier of a fitted condom in Spain. But I continued in my tireless pursuit of safety+pleasure for the men of Spain, as I have subsequently engaged in hours of intensive product testing. I can testify that I have convinced a confirmed condom dodger to dutifully don the right-fitting tool, who, once properly equipped, subjected these condoms to prolonged, rigorous and highly successful use. Ladies and gentlemen, a drum roll please as I introduce at least a partial solution to the size conundrum, thanks to top-notch German engineering (is there any better?): MY.SIZE.

A few more words on this product: it appears to be a simplified version of TheyFit, although it does not resolve the unfortunate assumption that equates length with width. The wider condom sizes are longer (perhaps too long, though better too long than not long enough). It's a good beginning though there's definitely room for improvement; I'm convinced it's still possible to develop a fairly simple scheme. My ideal would be two or three different lengths for each width, meaning a total of 12 or 15 sizes, which seems to me imminently more marketable than TheyFit's 70 or more.

MY.SIZE also provides a measurement guide that can be printed out, just like TheyFit, isn't that nifty? Then there's the handy educational My.Size video (for the moment available only in German) which engenders the strangest feeling in me -- could there be anything more droll than a German male armed with six differently-sized dildos providing condom use instructions?? Perhaps I'm most consternated by the fact that I understand virtually every word?!

To those otherly-endowed men in Spain: run, don't walk, to the source that will make your life much much more fun and imminently safer: RAMASAnitaria,

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